London Calling

I feel very overwhelmed today. I feel nauseous and I don't know why. The smell of the food made my stomach turn. I have a lot to think about and my head hurts sometimes for not coming up with a solution. I am having a hard time being able to make a decision.

Looking at some of the pictures I took on my trips to London gave me the feeling that it was in another life, I barely remember what happened, mostly the exact words that I have been repeating over the years in some of my conversations with friends. 

It was a single experience that changed my life and made me see it in a completely different way than I thought it was, I felt trapped in my city, and even though it is a well-known tourist port and has an international airport, I always felt like I had no way out. 

After the two times I traveled abroad, I felt like a chip was inserted in my head and since that time, I found myself thinking that I still could not believe that I was in the place I called "My Paradise" I keep dreaming that someday I will be able to go back.

Now, I am sitting in my room, typing on my computer my vague memories of those yesterdays when I felt young, rebellious, independent, and feeling that I could do anything, I often found myself thinking about how weird my life was becoming, literally, like in the movies. 

A Mexican girl flies to London in search of a dream. A dream that often felt like a nightmare. I mean, within all the bad, there were several good moments, and experiences that I will always carry in my thoughts. Like working in an all-day-breakfast restaurant as a waitress without any experience.

Extraordinary people that I will always carry in my heart and whom I never thought I would see again. Several attempts to see each other have been frustrating, and it has taken years, but how crazy is that even after the short time we knew each other and not having seen each other so many times in the 6 months I was in that city full of magic, we still keep in touch almost every day. 

Ana has tried to come, but because of my knee accident it was best to wait, and Eleni is coming at the end of October, I am so happy to spend another Halloween together, she is super fun and full of energy. I can't wait to see her.

Xx

Gre ❤

One day at a time

The previous posts have been from last year, I had left my blog because I didn't have my laptop and also because I simply lost the desire to continue with it, although deep down I never forgot it and I checked it from time to time hoping for some spark of inspiration to continue. 

How do I feel today?

Heavy, physically, mentally, and emotionally. The situation is difficult, but I know it is not complicated. I have had many health problems (nothing serious thank God), but since the accident I had with my knee, the surgery, not being able to work, money problems for the last 3 months, and relationship problems, everything accumulated. There are days when I can't find the door, that exit that says "this way" to get to a better place. But I know that to get there I have to start inside me. 

I don't know how to do it; I don't know where to start. The best phrase I've heard is "one day at a time". And it's completely true, if I live every day without thinking about the future or looking back at my past, I would be in a better place now, but I have that tendency to dream about what it was and worry about what will be next. 

I am about to start something I have been waiting for since I had the accident, that exit that will make me "feel more relieved", I just hope it is just the right thing and motivates me to move forward. Wish me luck. 

Xx

Gre ❤